Sway

When the topic comes to rational and irrational decisions such mysteries of human behavior as buying things which you do not need at the supermarket or doing very difficult and important work last night come to mind. Why do we do it? The clear answer to this question is still in the air. Psychologists and social researchers are trying to come to certain conclusion but all their findings are still more or less subjective. I think the core of this problem is not only in reluctance to lose, ambitions, commitment or affection ( in the example with the students in love or employers at first interview ) as mentioned in the book but sometimes in not having any choice. I want to share one situation from my life with you. When I was ten years old my most beloved granny passed away. The only thing  left from her was a wooden house in the village. That house meant more than everything for me. For many years long I could not forgive my parents for selling it. Even now when I remember it I can’t stop crying. Do you know why they sold it (just for 4000 rubles the following year the buyers sold it for 15000)? Because my parents as many ordinary Russians at that time didn’t get their salaries for some months and my sister and I didn’t have winter shoes. Does it seem rational to you?...  To my parents either, but they had no choice. We were school children and winters are very long.

It can seem irrational to many when doctors or teachers go to the most difficult sometimes even dangerous places on earth to help people who need their help. They leave their comfortable houses, their well-paid jobs, sometimes their families. The feeling that moves them is not rationality or fame.

People have always made irrational things one way or another but when you know that human lives depend on your decision it shouldn’t be matter of choice.

Click 3

“Click” is the most important thing in negotiation, making constructive dialogue, in short, in communication. The first aspect of people’s interrelations is affection. Let you be a businessman, a teacher or anyone else who deals with people, you have to be liked and like who you deal with (or show you like them) to be successful. My beloved teacher told me: ”When you enter the classroom for the first time your first aim is to make your students like you. If you can do it you will be able to teach them.” I had worked as a teacher for 10 years. It really worked. But I realized one more thing that TO BE LOVED is nearly as important as TO LOVE. It is one aspect of affection.

    Another aspect is to be flexible. Some people consider flexibility as losing your own self, having no personal attitude towards things. But  to my mind it is to be adaptive to the environment you are in (country, group of people etc). For example, I had a chance to work in three different countries. It means I had to change my behavior accordingly. I must confess it is not difficult if  you don’t lose your identity and follow your moral principles. It can seem contradicting but to be yourself can help you be flexible. People especially children feel if you are not sincere. They will just not “click” on you.

    To have natural affection and sincere love from whom you want to get something is inseparable part of relation.    

Click

“Click” is the most important thing in negotiation, making constructive dialogue, in short, in communication. The first aspect of people’s interrelations is affection. Let you be a businessman, a teacher or anyone else who deals with people, you have to be liked and like who you deal with (or show you like them) to be successful. My beloved teacher told me: ”When you enter the classroom for the first time your first aim is to make your students like you. If you can do it you will be able to teach them.” I had worked as a teacher for 10 years. It really worked. But I realized one more thing that TO BE LOVED is nearly as important as TO LOVE. It is one aspect of affection.

    Another aspect is to be flexible. Some people consider flexibility as losing your own self, having no personal attitude towards things. But  to my mind it is to be adaptive to the environment you are in (country, group of people etc). For example, I had a chance to work in three different countries. It means I had to change my behavior accordingly. I must confess it is not difficult if  you don’t lose your identity and follow your moral principles. It can seem contradicting but to be yourself can help you be flexible. People especially children feel if you are not sincere. They will just not “click” on you.

    To have natural affection and sincere love from whom you want to get something is inseparable part of relation.